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Here goes nothing
Apr. 9th, 2002 05:03 pmFirst up, the Human Virus Scanner:
The virus that have infected you will be show here along with thier cures, if known.
Viruses you suffer from:
Linux
Install the latest version of Microsoft Windows. Learn to love it.
USA
Rule, Britannia! Britannia rule the waves! [repeat]
Junkfood
Eat some real food. Something which you can identify the source of every ingredient, not the point of manufacture.
Sci-fi
Stop wearing the stick-on ears.
Free BSD
The GPL isn't that bad really. Adopt a penguin at the zoo.
Religion
Read "God's Debris" by Scott Adams (yes, the Dilbert guy)
Discordia
Buy a suit. Invest your money. Eat hotdog buns on a friday.
vi
Escape Meta Alt Control Shift.
Politics
Stop caring!
Brand Names
Having a well-known name doesn't make it good.
Conspiracy Theory
Face it, the elected government is in control. Actually that's quite scary.
Environmentalism
Consume more stuff! It's easier to buy new stuff than to recycle.
Macintosh
Use a mouse with more than one button.
Viruses you might suffer from:
Pokemon (60%)
Pikachu! Use your hyper-electric-get-a-life move now!
Gaming (70%)
Life is not a game. Roll 3D6. On a 4 or more go out and do something with your life.
British (85%)
No need for cure. Benign virus.
Japan (60%)
Big is good. Small is bad. Giant robots would not make a good last line of defence for Earth.
UNIX (90%)
Anything this old must be obselete. Go and install a nice modern operating system. I hear MSDOS has come a long way lately.
X11 (60%)
I hear Mac OS 10 Aqua is nice at this time of year.
Computer Games (90%)
Stop staring at the screen and get some fresh air. You should see a doctor about the RSI in your thumbs.
Hippyism (80%)
Free love is passe and potentially dangerous, and patchouli smells like cat piss.
Prog Rock (60%)
Long hair looks dumb with a bald spot. Listen to CD's they don't crackle.
Southampton (69%)
Move to the Isle of Wight.
The virus that have infected you will be show here along with thier cures, if known.
Viruses you suffer from:
Linux
Install the latest version of Microsoft Windows. Learn to love it.
USA
Rule, Britannia! Britannia rule the waves! [repeat]
Junkfood
Eat some real food. Something which you can identify the source of every ingredient, not the point of manufacture.
Sci-fi
Stop wearing the stick-on ears.
Free BSD
The GPL isn't that bad really. Adopt a penguin at the zoo.
Religion
Read "God's Debris" by Scott Adams (yes, the Dilbert guy)
Discordia
Buy a suit. Invest your money. Eat hotdog buns on a friday.
vi
Escape Meta Alt Control Shift.
Politics
Stop caring!
Brand Names
Having a well-known name doesn't make it good.
Conspiracy Theory
Face it, the elected government is in control. Actually that's quite scary.
Environmentalism
Consume more stuff! It's easier to buy new stuff than to recycle.
Macintosh
Use a mouse with more than one button.
Viruses you might suffer from:
Pokemon (60%)
Pikachu! Use your hyper-electric-get-a-life move now!
Gaming (70%)
Life is not a game. Roll 3D6. On a 4 or more go out and do something with your life.
British (85%)
No need for cure. Benign virus.
Japan (60%)
Big is good. Small is bad. Giant robots would not make a good last line of defence for Earth.
UNIX (90%)
Anything this old must be obselete. Go and install a nice modern operating system. I hear MSDOS has come a long way lately.
X11 (60%)
I hear Mac OS 10 Aqua is nice at this time of year.
Computer Games (90%)
Stop staring at the screen and get some fresh air. You should see a doctor about the RSI in your thumbs.
Hippyism (80%)
Free love is passe and potentially dangerous, and patchouli smells like cat piss.
Prog Rock (60%)
Long hair looks dumb with a bald spot. Listen to CD's they don't crackle.
Southampton (69%)
Move to the Isle of Wight.
