My lack of creativity is annoying me.

[tithonium]

I need more rules...

Rules of the Hot Tub

1. What happens in the hot tub stays in the hot tub.
2. ...Unless it really does stay in the hot tub, in which case you have to clean it up.
3. Clothing is optional inside the gazebo at all times. Keep the northern windows closed, however.
4. If it was attached to you before you got in, make sure it's still there afterward.
5. Do not hang from the crossbeams.
6. If you're the last person out, you are responsible for turning off the jets and light, and closing the cover.
7. There is no rule seven.
8. Do not set the gazebo on fire.
9. Do not attack the gazebo. It gets angry.
10. No drowning of weasels.


And perhaps some rewriting. Comment with suggestions, if you've any.

EDITS
2. ...Unless it really does stay in the hot tub, in which case you have to clean it up. Seriously, no bodily fluids.

11. No ritual sacrifice, ritual suicide, or ritual deflowerings.
12. ...unless you take pictures. And then only of the last one. And not in the tub.
13. ...... and you still have to clean it up.

14. All conflicts between hottubbers are to be settled with a duel, at a time and place and with weapons chosen by the hosts.

10. No drowning of weasels. Or ferrets. Or anybody else.
15. No dunking. Except of Oreo cookies. And then only in milk. And keep the milk out of the hot tub. And the crumbs.

15. No dunking. Except of Oreo cookies. And then only in milk. And keep the milk and crumbs out of the hot tub.

Comments

[damiana-swan.livejournal.com]

How about, Please do not feed the hot tub? And, how do you feel about bodily fluids and the hot tub? One of our biggest hot tub rules is, no bodily fluids in the hot tub. Not even those originally belonging to the people who live here.

[tithonium.livejournal.com]

The bodily fluids one was supposed to have been covered by rule 2. Perhaps I should be more explicit about it.

[damiana-swan.livejournal.com]

It sorta sounded like it covered bodily fluids, except that cleaning fluids out of a hot tub is slightly problematic, particularly in the middle of a party.

[zaratyst.livejournal.com]

You know you are sweating all the time in there, right?

[gfish.livejournal.com]

11. Robert's Rules of Order are to be followed at all times.
12. Don't lick the lathe.
13. No ritual sacrifice, ritual suicide, or ritual deflowerings.
14. ...unless you take pictures.
15. All conflicts between hottubbers are to be settled with a duel.

[tithonium.livejournal.com]

I told you. No duels.

[damiana-swan.livejournal.com]

How about "settled with a duel at a time and place, and with weapons chosen by the hosts"?

12. Don't lick the lathe.

[hollyqueen.livejournal.com]

Awwww! Why not?!

Re: 12. Don't lick the lathe.

[vixyish.livejournal.com]

'cause he doesn't have one...

Re: 12. Don't lick the lathe.

[gfish.livejournal.com]

http://www.cyphertext.net/comics/archive.php?comicID=6

[airlinepilot.livejournal.com]

What about non-ritual sacrifice, suicide, or deflowerings? :)

[vixyish.livejournal.com]

10. No drowning of weasels. Or ferrets. Or anybody else.

No dunking. Except of Oreo cookies. And then only in milk. And keep the milk out of the hot tub.

[loree.livejournal.com]

15. I'm not touching you! I'm not touching you! I'm not touching you!

[tithonium.livejournal.com]

Clearly you haven't paid much attention to previous hottubbing at our parties.

[loree.livejournal.com]

2a. In fact, no fluids at all. Filters are expensive. Water only, please.

[christhegeek.livejournal.com]

Can I TAUNT the hot tub. I mean, I wouldn't attack it, or anything...perhaps poke it with a spoon?

/Do NOT taunt HappyFunBall!

[tithonium.livejournal.com]

You may taunt the hot tub.
I do not recommend taunting the gazebo.

[pr10n.livejournal.com]

10. No drowning of weasels. Or ferrets. Or anybody else.

What if you just hold the weasel's head under the water until they finally tell the truth, and you aren't kidding bitch you'll stone drown them if they don't tell, but you really won't?

[vixyish.livejournal.com]

That's dunking. See rule #15.

[hollyqueen.livejournal.com]

How do I keep the milk out of the crumbs?

[tithonium.livejournal.com]

This is not my problem.

[hollyqueen.livejournal.com]

What precisely IS your problem?

[tithonium.livejournal.com]

Science has yet to figure that out.

Rule 0

[airlinepilot.livejournal.com]

The Owner Of The Hot Tub Is The Sole Arbiter Of Any Rule Disputes. (And Can Be Bribed)

[sistawendy.livejournal.com]

Don't even mention drowning ferrets!

11. No ritual sacrifice, ritual suicide, or ritual deflowerings.

[hollyqueen.livejournal.com]

What if they are less of a ritual and more a casual thing?

[grymor.livejournal.com]

Does rule 4 preclude abandoning attached people whom you entered the hot tub with? If so, this seems like a good deal...

Re: hot-tub rules

[wolfieboy.livejournal.com]

Considering our house and that our present to each other is getting the hot-tub working, I find these to be useful rules. Especially #10.